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Oct. 15th, 2014


Small Good Things

* The weather was splendid.

** Discovered that the girl who sits behind me in German is another WGSS major. She asked me for my number after class, saying that we should hang out some time.

*** In preparation for a new project in Editing, we had class in the university archives to get a crash course in using the system. The lecture itself was more tedious than not, because I was already tired and talking at me is guaranteed to lower any chance of or interest in learning your subject. They did have Johnny Mercer's (guy who wrote Moon River) actual Oscar, so that was cool to see.

**** Best part was that the archivist told us that they hire students at the beginning of each semester for minimum wage. I grabbed an application and relevant business card as soon as we were done. Compared to other min wage jobs that are being offered, this would be the best.

Oct. 14th, 2014

Lemme Explain to You a Thing

Can I Not Write About These Ladies for a Living?

1. How the criticism of Snow White and Ella represent the problematic nature of second-wave feminism, i.e. shaming of traditional femmes.*

2. How all of them represent some element of feminism, good and bad. (Pocahontas and Tiana would make nice gateways into exploring the colonialism and racism prevalent in certain feminist circles.)

3. The evolution of the males, from silent accessory to equal to comic relief and beyond. Never, it should be noted, more important than the woman the story is about.

4. Comparison of Aurora's character in Disney, Once Upon a Time, and Maleficent. Possibly the original tale as well, but that'd be a supporting detail than an entire section.

5. Princesses and abuse.

6. Princesses and the idea of freedom.

7. How the narratives change based on the chosen time period.

8. Fighting like a girl - not a man, as is required of "strong" female characters, but like a girl.

9. Connection between them and their animal counterparts. Is it significant that Jasmine has a tiger and Rapunzel a chameleon? Why specifically a flounder and crab for Ariel?

10. The relationships between themselves and their villains.

11. Sexuality. Or rather, the lack of it in the franchise. Being a princess isn't about blood, this is true, but there's a troubling message that one of the requirements is the erasure of any hint re: sexual activities or past or objectification.**


13. Elsa's powers as a metaphor for sexuality.

14. Aurora, Ariel, and Belle vs their respective curses. Passivity, active from within, and active from without.

15. Tiana and Merida: do their narratives elevate them as high as Disney would have us believe?

16. Neglect and feral children. Focus on Rapunzel, Elsa, and Anna. (Possibly Ella.) Hell, if we throw in Jasmine it could turn into a paper about

17. Princesses and their various levels of isolation. (Physical, emotional, social, etc.)

18. Princesses and mental illness. This will probably be Elsa-centric, lbr, but we'll see.

19. Princesses and "True Love".

20. Why the hell do one or both of her parents have to be dead?

* In progress for WGSS class.
** Remember the criticism about Elsa's emotional liberation involving a change in physical appearance. I disagree with it, but it's worth unpacking. (I beseech all, however, to keep in mind what METAPHORS are.)
Of Course!

And I'm Feeling... Good?

I have this buzzing ball of energy (or excitement) in my stomach. I hardly know what to do with it. I'm still physically tired, because I stayed up until 3am playing Dragon Age and woke up at 8, but mentally I'm surprisingly upbeat. Huh. Thanks, Brain.

Oct. 11th, 2014


I Want a Reset Button

I'm so sick of mood swings. There is literally no reason for a post, noise from people in the hallway, or anything else to flip a switch and send me into a sobbing mess. It ruins what are supposed to be moments of recovery, and makes me feel worse for having them. I wish they were a tangible thing that I could smother.

Been struggling with my mood recently. I only tell people about a fraction of its true scope so as not to be a burden. The apartment is a mess, I've lost any upper hand I had on schoolwork, going outside makes me sick, and I'm so fucking lonely. I don't feel like I have the right to complain about that last part, since I feel no desire to make the effort to form new connections anyway. It's easier to lie and say that I'm eating/working/cleaning/functioning than continuously answering, "I've been lying in bed all day feeling sorry for myself."

It's been five hours since the mood swing that prompted this post. I have a headache that refuses to be chased away with food, drink, pills, or low lighting. I want to write nice, straightforward scenes of my kink, but it won't go any further than my head. I don't want to think about how I can't seem to write stories on my own these days. The pressure in my head discourages any notions of sleep; the bed itself is starting to feel less soothing, anyway. It's the dirty sheets.

Oct. 10th, 2014

Do Not Want


I keep having dreams about strangers entering my apartment. Not in a home invasion kind of way, but casually. Somebody went to the wrong door looking for someone else's apartment (happened irl; I had to answer in a robe and no glasses); somebody else using my bathroom because theirs isn't working. Every time I'm still in bed, naked since that's how I sleep more often than not. They usually leave after they've seen me (or after they've done their business).

There's all kinds of symbolism in this that I'm uninterested in unpacking right now. It's not even the worst dreams that I've had. But I've had them three times already - back to back this morning - and I'd like them to stop.

Oct. 9th, 2014

Can't Talk Must Read

Persephone in Winter

Not going to lie, I was worried after Shattered Medallion. Silent Spy had amazing character development for the Drew family, but as a game I found it average. And I've made my dislike of MED quite clear. So I was hoping very hard that Labyrinth of Lies would deliver, and boy did it.

Characters and Dialogue: The biggest selling point for me in any game. After falling flat on its face last time, HER came back strong and delivered a cast that was diverse, funny, relatable, and witty. Grigor and Niobe were incredibly sympathetic - the boy who had to learn to act for survival until he barely knew who "he" was, and the girl whose passion warred with her social anxiety until the lack of trust in herself and the misplaced trust in a friend left her in a smoking crater. Both well-rounded. Thanos I dismissed as the culprit right away, because I thought with his frightening behavior, reputation, and past, that he was a red herring. The only thing that saved his involvement from turning into a lazy cliche is that he was only the guard dog. Xenia being the mastermind was something I didn't see coming, and I loved it. "I've always been the queen." Hell yes. Melina was pleasurably sharp, and the Hardy boys were hilarious. I'm deeply satisfied.

Setting: Gorgeous. HER's graphics get better with each game. The Hades sets under the stage were some of the most detailed and rich environments in the series. And we got to see bits of Nancy twice! And she wasn't wearing mom jeans this time! xD I liked that touch.

Mystery: Very good! It honestly had me guessing until the end. The fact that the culprit was everyone is a new twist on the HER formula. I liked the realism of the epilogue. How wapture doesn't equal justice with Thanos, who exploits a corrupt system. How Grigor and Niobe are both sentenced as well, but with silver linings now that they've been given the tools, space, and time to rebuild their lives. Excellent story.

Puzzles: One of the better ones. I enjoyed more than I didn't, and I want to find whoever designed the second-to-final puzzle and shake their hand. Challenging without being impossible, and just fun through and through.

Conclusion: I'll need a few more playthroughs to be certain, but LIE might have made it into my top five. It's definitely top ten. A welcome return to form from the HER folks, and I couldn't let out a bigger sigh of relief.

Oct. 3rd, 2014


Do I Hear Five?

Fire alarm went off again at quarter to three. I've passed the point of irritation, now I'm just laughing at it. (Not entirely true, I'm still irritated.)
Christie Leroux

I've Climbed the Mountain, I Crossed the River and I'm Almost There

Proteus sent over my contract today! I was worried for a while since it's been two months coming, but now it's here and all I need to do is sign, approve the editing changes they want to make, send in a 50 word bio blurb for a footer, and wait until November! I can't believe it's this close to becoming a reality.

Sep. 20th, 2014


Every Single Time

"Sexy, single, and ready to mingle"

More like

"Poly, hot, and having to explain my situation a lot" (from this post)

Baby Steps

I've said multiple times that given the choice between giving up the need to sleep or the need to eat, I'd pick the latter. In any scenario I'd choose to cut out the biological need for food, because it would make my life so much easier.

But just now, I thought, "I'd wish to enjoy all food, so eating would never be an issue again."

I think that's progress.

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